I haven’t worked an institutional job in almost a year (quit date last year in Mid-June, then on to a self-directed job in media creation and perhaps self-destruction). Today, I had my first 4-hour shift at a chain coffeeshop in San Carlos (an affluent neighborhood). After my shift (as if by Fate), I chatted with…

Possible Overshare Warning, but, this is my life and I want you to know it if you want to. (Why I am writing this blog post: to help me document my experience with MediCal –the insurance that I currently qualify for in the State of California, my experience with drugs they put me on –could…

I think it’s a negative spiral, not a negative loop. I’m seeing the same options over and over again but doing them less. Today, I went to my therapy appointment and we talked about insurance for most of the time. I think I overstayed my welcome a little bit. She kept saying it was over…

I am too panicky on the drugs. It makes me physically ill. I think I have no comfortable place to rest. Everything reminds me of anti-home. I just want my own room. No interruptions. Just relaxing. Help? I think they are making me slightly more effective. It’s that worrying literally hurts me head now. I’m…

I found a lot to be excited about at the asian art museum. Too much. Can’t focus still. My vision isn’t blurry, I think that I would like to read more than write today. I learned some good habits from my mom this weekend, but also just plain mimicry, which I think she could tell.…

I’m in the worse possible way the worst possible way. I can’t function. Can’t think. I’m broken as all can be. This writing is difficult but let’s try to get 300 words. Use it or lose it right? I am apt to write only about my condition. It’s hard not getting enough sleep. Weird things…

A page about my experience. My time in the psych ward the second time was really gruesome. I was being a little liar and told myself, let’s get all the bracelets we can thinking that it was going to protect us from the cold dark world of the psych ward. It was a troubling time…

My first test from my psychiatryst: Attempt going off Meds, Just Kidding, but Adding Medical Cannabis. The first morning, she wasn’t panicked. It was in the office of her psychiatryst, Doctor J, when he said “I have Katarina here. She was sick from some medications I prescribed. I can assure you she is safe and…